WHY I LIVE IN THE PHILIPPINES?

1. Every street has a basketball court.

2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.

3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.

4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.

5. School is considered the second home and the mall considered the

third.

6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.

7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.

8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.

9. Everything can be forged.

10. All kinds of animals are edible.

11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.

12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.

13. Fly-overs bring you from the freeway to the side streets.

14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.

15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.

16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!

17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.

18. People can pay to defy the law.

19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.

20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)! (Fake)

21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.

22. Being called a bum is never offensive.

23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the

rainy season.

24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.

25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.

26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM - galing sa magnanakaw) (from the thieves)

27. Where insurance does not work.

28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.

29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).

30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!).

31. Where University of the Philippines is all the weird people go.

32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.

33. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.

34.. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;

35. University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.

36. Fast food is a diet meal.

37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.

38. Where being mugged is normal and It happens to everyone.

39. Rodents are normal house pets.

40. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.

41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;

42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.

43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.

44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.

45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.

46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.

47. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga 'to!)

48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax) - than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.

49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!

FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:

1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.

2. Anita Bakery

3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night

4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;

5. A bakery named Bread Pitt

6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.

7. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing

8. A boutique called The Way We Wear

9. A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental

10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried

Chicken

11. A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's

12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts

13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll

14. And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.